Wednesday, February 6, 2013

It's your third birthday, Knox Wilkie!!

Once upon a time I grew you in my belly.

32 weeks.  Somehow he found crannies to stretch in to for another 8 weeks.
 You were cozy in there.
It hurt to have my body stretched and punched.
It was amazing to watch you stretch and punch.
I knew who you were when you were there.  I imagined you were a wild boy with wild plans.
I imagined you were warm and that you would be squishy.
I loved you.
You made me capable of awesome things.  You showed me how tough a mommy's body is.

I knew you'd come out to visit one day.
You chose a day your daddy was going to be home.  He lived and worked away from us then.
You made sure he was home to catch you.

 We were happy about that.

It was a Saturday in February.  The 6th. 
At 8:30 am I knew you were on your way.  I didn't tell anyone I knew, it was between us.
Just us.
We went shopping for some pendant lights at Foothills Lighting.  We wanted to wrap one more project before your due date!  You will get very used to house projects.
We walked around and around, and I had to stop every so often to let you have your say in the matter.
I told Daddy we have to go- this baby is meaning business.
We called family and waited and waited, and you were so busy in my belly trying to get out.
We waited for what seemed like forever.  For 95 hours we waited.
Your big sister was worried about her mommy, her mommy in the other room wailing and breathing and bending and nervous.  She had never seen me like that!  You were making me work!!
Oh when would someone come take care of your big sister?!

Connie came over and Great Grammy came over to spend the night with your Tulah.
Connie knew you were on your way.  She's one of mommy's best friends, and she is a midwife.  She knows when babies are on their way.
She led the way to the hospital and called them to tell them our baby was coming out soon.
I didn't even have to stop at triage because she took care of that!
On the way to the hospital I cried and tried to breathe and I tried really hard not to tell daddy how to run red lights.
I hoped and hoped that you would not make me labor overnight.  I hoped and hoped your birthday would not be the 7th... I liked the sound of February 6th much better.
It was after 6pm, so you had a few hours to do your thing and cooperate.
We got to the hospital and Connie taught your daddy how to help me manage the contractions.  He had to help because I couldn't do it on my own.  He is very strong!
Everyone says pushing is the best part of labor.  Those people are liars.
You were sunny-side up and you were not coming out.  Nope!
My water did not break when I was fully dilated.
Connie broke my water and we thought you would just come out with it, but you couldn't.  You were posterior and you were stuck.
It hurt to have you stuck!  I pushed and pushed and there you weren't!
Finally you turned.  The prank was over.  It was not yet 10pm.
I found out your head was 14 1/4 " around.  That's a huge head.
I found out much later that you didn't have oxygen for a few minutes.  They were getting scared.  I didn't know that until a month or so ago.  But you turned and you breathed.  You came out!
That must be why you looked like this:

My sweet boy.  You were the most precious little purple eater I'd ever seen.

You were snuggly and starving.  Newborn babies love to be close to their mommies and I never wanted them to take you away to clean you up.  I loved my messy boy next to me.

We were so happy to meet you!
We named you Knox.
That's what you were, a baby Knox.
You were tough in my belly.  You were stubborn coming out. 
Tough as a Knox!
A lot of people came to visit you that night. 
You stuck your tongue out at them.

Do you know how lucky you were to have Connie there helping you out of my belly?
Do you remember how special that was?  You emerged to a world of love and special people.

We went to bed that night with a new baby boy.
And by "went to bed" I mean, "were up all night"...  You were used to punching and kicking all night, and not even the tremendous act of childbirth made you sleepy.
And you have never been sleepy since :)
Your sister came to meet you the next day.  She knew instantly that you were no longer in my belly.  You were in plain sight, ready to be held and loved on!
She said, "Tiny hands!" to you.  That's the first thing she said to her baby brother.

She kissed you and loved you and was so proud to be yours!

 You were our favorite new thing!

precious boy

just a little guy.

Okay, maybe you were sleepy one or two times...

Well we took you home and learned what it was like to have a son.
Tulah was a sweet sister, but she got pretty creative with you from time to time.  You were a blank canvas.

Days went on. I loved my little boy!

I had the most amazing little kiddos!

I feel like I don't really remember Tulah being this small. 

But then sometimes I'm afraid that I won't remember that you were a two year old once, too!
 So you just grew and grew...

and you grew and you grew.

You couldn't have been sweeter.
You were also sour sometimes.  Sweet and sour.  Perfect!

Then one day you turned one.

And you were living life on a mission!

I spent my days doing my best.  Sometimes I wasn't sure if my best was enough. 
I think I will always wonder that!
And I will always give whatever I've got.

The two's hit at 11 months.  We had a good year and 9 months of terrible twos.
But I almost don't remember them.
Who can remember anything terribly-two-ish with this face around?

This past fall you turned into Knox.
You started wanting to talk.  You had a lot to say after waiting for so long!
You became our entertainer.
You started to express yourself instead of throwing a fit.
The challenges of your behavior in the years before became strength in your personality and character.  You're becoming YOU!
You are full of love and you show it.  Just so you know, the ladies dig that.  Remember this.
You tell us bedtime stories that are wild and elaborate.  I wonder what colors you see in your head when your imagination is working.
You know All Things Superhero.
You are in costume every single day.  You know it makes people laugh.

You bust into hilarious dances and funny faces at perfect moments.  Usually this is when we're about to make you take a bite or beg you one more time to please poop in the potty!
I wish I could have a video camera on you every second.

You tell me how special I am to you.
You tell your sister that she is beautiful.
You tell her she's your princess!  You definitely know the way to a girl's heart, sweet boy.
You are strong.  You know what your body is capable of and you trust yourself.
You can crawl up mommy or daddy to stand and balance on our shoulders like it's nothing.
You can climb anything.  I mean ANYTHING!
You are fast.

I catch you singing, "You are my Sunshine" to your doggie Howdy all the time.
You do not want to sit and learn.  You want to GO and learn! 
I am learning how to teach you. You're teaching me how.
Your mind is brilliant and different.  I hope people always see that in you!
When you do something, you do it with passion and intensity.  Whether it's funny, or serious, or emotional, or physical, it will be done with dedication!
I always think, "What will you be when you are bigger?"
And then I think, "Make we wait to find out, grow up s l o w l y ...!"

I love you, sweet guy.  I will always tell you I love you, even when you one day have stinky teenager feet.  But right now you have VERY precious, growing, little boy feet.  And I find them very smoochable still, even when they're in my face in the middle of the night!

Each day you grow and give me so many things to be thankful for.  I feel awake with you because of the life and silliness you bring, even in the little things.  If you're reflecting even a tiny piece of the life we're giving you, then I guess we are doing okay!  

I hope you always feel as confident as you are now.  I hope you're always blessed with a strong body.  I hope you want to give your mommy kisses forever.
You won't know how much I love you until you have children of your own.

It's hard to watch you growing so fast.  It's also the greatest gift.  
I love you my sweet guy!   Happy birthday Knox Double!!

pick that nose, buddy.  It's your birthday!

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