This is my house, and I am the Mommy.

I want to talk about Little Mommies.

You know the book... "This is my house, and I am the Mommy.  My children are Annabelle, Betsy, and Bonnie."

A little girl has three dear little dollies and is their mommy in the little Golden storybook.  My mom had it when she was little, and my Nana sent it to Tulah when she was tiny tiny.  It's memorized in my head and probably Tulah's too.  It's been packed away or hidden under other books for some time, and we just read it at nap time a few minutes ago.  A few pages are missing, but since it's committed to memory that's no big deal.  The Little Mommy cares for her little ones probably just how her mommy cares for her.  She wakes up and they say goodbye to the breadwinner of the family... She feeds the babes, they play while she sweeps and does dishes.  She bakes, has a neighbor over for tea, goes for a little peaceful stroll.  Her home is neat and tidy, and she even hand-washes the laundry. When Betsy falls ill, Mommy makes a call to the doctor who comes immediately for a house call.  It's an idyllic and precious little story.  I am jealous of the mother of that Little Mommy for giving her such great lessons on how to keep house and order and patience. 

Funny how you read an innocent little story, especially one you know well, and all of a sudden it's not a story- it's an OMEN.  Reading about a sweet little "perfect" mama at a time when you have been thinking about your home, your 'job' as a mom, your patience and your example.  My thoughts lately travel and wander and sojourn to places of resolution, resolution to be better.  Resolution to well, resolve, that it's okay to not be better sometimes and to figure out how to truly start fresh tomorrow.  Well I think every parent tries to be better, daily, or at least has the desire to try to be better.  I am a, uh, a  good mom, and I've always known I was born for this role.  But what does "good" really mean?  One thing that's hard for me is knowing if I snapped, or settled, or didn't discipline, or got jack-squat done one day, I find myself saying, "Yeah but I DID do this, that, and that."  Great.  Usually those things that did get done are of no importance to a four and two year old. 

What Little Mommy has that I don't have is simplicity.  She has one automobile that Padre took to work that day.  She has a buggy, a broom, and a doctor on speed dial call.  She has no Pandora streaming to set the mood.  No texts coming in, and she certainly hasn't received 5 phone calls from student loan collectors by lunch time the way that I have.  No errands to run on that particular day.  She did not post pictures on facebook the night before and is not curious if anyone 'liked' any of them.  She uses a cookbook to make her famous ginger cake and does not require Pinterest or Epicurious to bake a tasty treat.  After all, checking Pinterest for a recipe just inevitably leads to just peeking at your email quickly since the computer's open, which leads to checking out this crazy online coupon in your inbox which leads to remembering you better place your order NOW if you want it to arrive by Christmas, which means you have to read the reviews and compare websites to make sure you get the most bang for your few dollars... And oh yeah, what was I about to bake again?  Wait, I have children to tend to??

I had big big dreams of being the sweet Little Mommy I always thought I had inside of me.  Instead I find that some days, I'm fitting the kids into a very long list of Most Important Tasks.  Even this house... This house was supposed to be a sweet and mellow beginning for our new chapter.  I really thought that the rut I was in was because my role as Mom Of Two began so stressfully and not quite balanced.  Nick having that job out of town for 2 and a half years and having a VERY CHALLENGING newborn (and beyond) baby boy was something I never ever ever want to repeat.  Adjusting to living together has been not great too, if we're being honest.  We were probably fools to purchase such a rough house while we were just getting back into the groove, but this rough house also represents the future to us.  It's the almost-homestead we've always wanted... At least it will be eventually.  As I try to remind myself why we're here and not in our finished and lovely yellow house, I try to also remember that we will be here for decades and decades and that it's okay to pump the brakes on the projects.  While the projects do define us, the kids do MORE (usually... ;) and I don't want to get distracted.

I realize that most of the women of that time, the Little Mommy time, were brought up to become mothers and homemakers.  One thing I always think about is Nick's grandma, Pat.  Our yellow house was hers and was the first and only home that Nick's grandparents ever had as a family.  Yes, we sold it, and the regret is so huge sometimes I can hardly stand it.  Anyway, that special house held a lot of lessons, but one I always remember is how Pat was not allowed to paint.  At least that's how we understand it.  Grandma Pat was a FABULOUSLY talented painter.  I will post some pictures of the paintings we ended up with of hers.  Prized and adored possessions.  She had a skill that is hard to find.  Well, Robert The Man Of The House thought that her painting was a waste of time.  So she just plain didn't do it, really.  And if you look at the dates of the paintings we know of, a lot of them are from after the kids were grown and after Robert passed away.  What a funny thing anymore to not be allowed to do your passion, and be a mother, and make the home.  What a funny thing to just... Cook.  And grocery shop.  And feed faces and mend and iron clothing.  Boy I would be "mending" clothing every day!!  Those clothes would have some pretty far-out and fancy mend-age if I were the Mom.  Hubby would be all, "You're mending clothes again???  Why do my dinner rolls have notes tucked in them?  Why are all my socks embroidered with teal flowers and red polkadots??"

What did Grandma Pat feel like she was born to do?  Did she ONLY want to be a mother and a wife?  Is that what a Little Mommy was?  Did she want to find the balance between her family/home and her skills and passions?  How did she feel when she wasn't allowed to do her art?  I set out to Colorado 8 or so years ago to get my dream degree, be a crazy and super successful product designer until my late 20's, at which point I would proceed to have 3 or 4 lovely children and stay home with them, freelancing my way around for some balance and extra money.  I would have been so wildly successful that my loans would have been paid off in 6 years- nothing to worry about.  Well I didn't finish that degree, I had a precious baby girl instead.  I have no way of paying for day care, so I stay home (LUCKY ME!!  Truly!!).  But that creative road was truncated before I was really ready.  I am always fighting the urge to just spend a day MAKING STUFF and feeling successful... Networking and finding treasures and conversing with adults and accomplishing things I'm GREAT at.  Sometimes this just takes over and I find myself yearning for it, as opposed to embracing my true role as homemaker.  And I feel so guilty for wanting it so badly!!  Sometimes I lie my head down at night, wondering how many times I told my kids, "Hang on just another minute guys, Mommy needs to wrap up just one more thing" that day.  I know it's not like that every day... But...  But how does a mother find balance and simplicity in today's world full of a zillion different definitions of success?  I have everything I've ever wanted so why would I want MORE. 

This house has been alive and connecting for me and the kiddos.  While it is busy, I find myself at a place where most times I am able to include them much much more than before in my tasks.  I have a little Tulah helper when it comes to dishes and baking and laundry and totally worth the 50 cents I pay her :)  I started this journal to keep you up to date on the progress, but actually it's been really nice to see how I'm doing as a mom too.  I go through a day and I think, "If I wouldn't want in in my journal, then we're staying away from it."  I won't be able to be one of those writers that make everything look like sunshine and rainbows, because that's not life and I don't trust people who won't allow themselves to be real, and vulnerable, and relate-able. I'll never make you feel like you're the only one with problems, I promise.  I probably don't always say when we've had just a super-cranky awful day, which is probably due to the fact that I do not write every day.  But sometimes I do and after all, this journal is a celebration of what IS working.

I have some new goals I'm hoping to accomplish in my ever-continuing list of GinnImprovements.  Maybe instead of listing them, I'll discuss them as I succeed.  Less pressure :)  I think I'm almost the mom I want to be so what's a little more fine-tuning right??  I want the simplicity of the little "homestead" we wanted to create here to happen and I think it is, in its own time.

It's not MORE that I want, I've realized.  It's ME I'm after.  My best me.  Truly celebrating where and who I am, and giving my greatest to my home and my sweets. 

This is my house, and I am the {improving} mommy.

Thankful hiney rolls

I would like to state, for the record, that we purchased prime sunset-capturing property here.  Look at the view we had from our little balcony the other night!!  Unedited photos.

 So lively.

 mellow finish

 And oh the Thanksgiving sunrise in our backyard was a beaut too.  I don't really know how to capture the magnificence, and it wasn't as dynamic as the sunset two nights ago, but it was a lovely wake-up :)

such a rustic Almost-Acre, isn't it!

How was your Thanksgiving??
Don't you wish we could have all been together?  I do.  If you're reading this I'm betting I wish we were closer together than we are.  Except I know my sweet Ma-in-Law reads up on our happenings, so to you I say, thank you for a wonderful cozy day!

So Thanksgiving started off with the majesty and artistry only God and his friend Mama Natura can provide.  I got to work on my contributions to dinner at Grammy's house.  I made sweet potatoes with bacon, homemade mac-n-cheese, "thankful" rolls, and apple cider floats that I forgot to bring with me.  I guess we'll have to find a way to enjoy them at home.



Roo helped me with the thankful rolls... I saw them on Pinterest: the only place in the world where little rolls stuffed with a note in the middle does not look embarrassingly like tiny hineys with a letter in the mailbox.  Like ours--------->

awkward.









BUT!  Inside, Tulah wrote down what she was thankful for, and listed everyone who was going to be at dinner.  Plus homes and friends and pets.  She sounded out all of the words on her own, no help from mama. 


trisha, eric
(I love that... Trish-uh :)
jaxson, nick
lois, ginny
grammy, knox
tulah, pets
friends, homes














Our anniversary was the next day, so the kids spent the night with Grammy a couple of nights.  Thank you Grammy!  We said good-night after the turkey shenanigans ended, not knowing what to do with our time.  So we went to the new James Bond where I learned that PG-13 is NOT what it used to be!  Yikes.

Friday we went to our FAAAAAAVORITE surplus building supply store, Extras, and picked out ALL OF OUR TRIMMINGS FOR THE BOARD AND BATTEN WALLS WE'RE DOING IN THE LIVING ROOM!!!!  For TWENTY FIVE PERCENT OFF of the already thrift-improvement-store prices.  Happy anniversary to us!  We went home with a truck full of baseboards, battens, top rails, and new 4" door/window casings too.  Oh, and a new storm door that Hubby is thrilled about installing :)  Whatever, it was a $100 Anderson door (normally $400) and fits right in with the look of our windows, and this one won't blow and bang all over the place when those prevailing westerlies blow through!

In this house we really don't want to use new materials if we don't have to, we don't want synthetic junk if we can avoid it, and definitely don't want mdf and particle board when we could use less chemical-laden and formaldehyde-free alternatives.  Like wood for example.  Which tends to be oh so pricey when you have to buy it new... Except at Extras! Want to know how stinking affordable it all was?  A hint.  7" baseboards of lovely alder wood (yes that's right... SEVEN INCH BASE!!) we ended up getting for around $1.60 a foot.  That might sound like a fourth of the price elsewhere, and that's because it IS. 

The board and battens are gonna be great in our living room because I DESPISE the knock-down texture in there.  Ready to get it covered up, and add character to the big, quick-built box.  Now that we could finally gather and afford what we needed to do the wainscoting, we thought it would be a cinch to get started.  Unfortunately, that lovely wood grain and innocent little knot holes are begging not to be covered in paint.  Like in pathetic little voices, mere whispers in the night.  I was wanting originally to do white board and batten to about 6 ft high, and paint black on the wall above it (even though I get a lot of weird looks when I mention that...)  Anyway, now found all the wood we need, we are thinking twice about painting it all.  We've got a plan in our heads to do some alternative staining, but it's a bold risk and will be a lot of work to redo if we don't loooove it.  I'd like to share the two or three ideas with you, but I also just want to post a bunch of "after" photos when it's all done and knock your socks off.

The weather has been beautiful up until today.  Today has its perks too, the gloom and drear and drizzle inviting me and my sweets to stay in and be the laziest of all lazies, watching way too many PBS shows while I clean and prepare the living room for the future wainscoting mess. But last week... weather worth posting about.  70's and sunny, boldly daring us to venture out.  Winter, you are super late.  Al Gore nailed it I guess.

Wore his goggles everywhere last week.  He had two pairs, and I asked him one day if he could let Roo have one.  He said, "No, dese Iron Man doddles (goggles) and they have iron in dem, they fo my fwiends not Tuwah, she my sister."

love her.  And thankful she let me get some pictures-- always playing hard to get

Those cheeks look kissable because they ARE!!!

And this is why I call her my little Sparkle.

This mama is a lucky one.  A thankful one.

Playroom curtains prescription via the 'Kea

I've been in a MOOD the past few days.  Ugh.  I don't know where my crankiness is coming from, but I do know that it needs to stop.  I can't sleep, I'm such a grump, and I'm feeling like no one in this house gets me.  I would blame my female hormonal cycle, but that seems too easy and predatory to defenseless hormones who cannot speak for themselves.  I woke up today determined to put some sing-song back in my voice and maybe give myself the rush of accomplishing something start to finish.  For once!

My remedy was finally sewing the kiddos' playroom curtains.  Just the thought of taking my sweet little sewing machine out of its box put a little twinkle in my eye.  As I gather my materials and cozy up to my dining-turned-sewing table, my thoughts travel to a happier place than dirty dishes and dog-sheddy floors.  I open the box and pull out the ol' girl.  I smile.  I SMILE!!  Woohoo!!  Wait, what are the kids doing, they're quiet... Oh they're eating breakfast.  EATING breakfast without me forcing them!  This is a good sign.  I continue with the momentum of this good fortune.

Symptoms of sewing withdrawl:
.  Anxiety
.  Restlessness and insomnia
.  Social isolation
.  Poor concentration
.  Depression
This has GOT to be the larger issue surrounding my freakish irritability. 
Obviously the cure is to drink more water and sew some simple floor-to-ceiling curtains in the next 20 minutes flat.  GO!

I bought this fabric at Ikea a couple of weeks ago.  I just love the climber on the mountain and the butting mountain goats!  So cute and I looooove the large scale of the graphics. 

I looooove their fabric... It's all around $7.99 a yard, you cut it yourself, and there's never a line at the cutting table.  They also have economically priced thread, bobbins, stitch witchery, and scissors in case you feel the need for some thrifty impulse items.  The bolts are all beautiful and the fab has awesome weight, perfect for a quick curtain or chair cushion makeover.  There are loud bold patterns, subtle cottagey sweet ones, and casual go-to's that can fit any project.  There's my ikea plug :)

Anyway.  On to The Playroom That Will Never Be Finished!

The striped ceilings are fun, and I have all the storage I need probably.  But that wall is so lame and in dire need of some drapery. 

In my pile of boxes o' sewing stuff, I cannot find my fabric shears.  I am so irritated!  I hope they're in the storage unit!  I've needed them a couple of times for making t-shirt yarn, but I made due.  Today I cannot afford my scissors tearing up my fabric grotesquely. Perhaps I should have impulse-itemed some scissors at the 'Kea.

BUT LOOK WHAT I DISCOVERED I NEVER KNEW I WAS ALWAYS MISSING.  A craft knife for cutting a super quick, straight line!  Works best along a crisp fold, and always keep tension in the fabric or you will have some unwanted jaggedness.  Just stick that knife out a ways, get it under the fold, and hit it.  Yesss!





So I sewed some quick hems (didn't even turn it twice, just once.  I bet you'll forget to inspect it when you come over next time :)

I hanged a rod.  Hung a rod?  I installed a rod above the window.  There.

I put up the curtains and voila, curtains in a half hour.  No kids screaming, full tummies, and a cure to my withdrawls.  I'd say it's a pretty good start to my un-grumpiness.

 

I know you know how mounting curtains floor-to-ceiling and a good distance side-to-side makes the window look huge... but thought I'd point it out how big of a difference it made here :)

It's cozy and sweet.  SORT OF like me munchiekins.

Consider my spirits lifted!

Mwah.  Happy Monday!

Saturday with Spidey

"I not Knox, I  PIDERMAN!!!"

 

But even a little Spiderman slows down sometimes...

What do you dream of, little Knox?

Today I'm not rearranging cabinets.  I'm not demolishing tile.  I'm not painting walls or pasting up wallpaper. 

I AM doing laundry and smelling bread baking in the oven.  I love that our laundry room is also our pantry, because it means that it's right off of the kitchen, which means that it's right where we spend 80% of our day, which means that it's really easy to keep a load going.  Unfortunately :) 

   Actually, the sound of the washer and dryer going is very comforting.  It's a cozy sound.  And as I sit here in the dining room, I can see into the kids' room, see the little stinkers enjoying their siesta, all tangled up in their big blankets.  Their cheeks are rosy, they're still and quiet, and I wonder how long this cozy moment is going to last.  Hopefully at least 'til I hit 'publish'.

I'm pretty excited that I got a loaf of bread to rise and bake pretty much how the recipe's author intended it to bake.  It looks pretty edible, hmm?  Just removed it from the toasty oven and am trying hard to wait to slice it up.

 

I used this recipe on The Italian Dish.  

It's my second time making it.

One batch = 3 loaves.

2 attempts x 3 loaves = 6... no, 5... loaves I've messed up.  Until this 6th one!  

At least you can't really mess it up... If it doesn't rise for you like it never did for me, you can fake a fancy-looking artisan loaf by mixing in olive oil and rosemary, maybe some cheese... into the dough as you decide you can't screw it up any further, shape it, sprinkle some kosher salt, and bake 'er up.  THIS time, I didn't have to do anything but READ AND RE-READ DIRECTIONS to figure out what the problem is.  Success!!  I have never had a problem baking bread before my past few recipes.  Remember when I used to bake bread for every gathering and I had my recipe memorized and it never turned out too terrible?  Maybe my evil sister Sarah stole my baking ability when she moved to Italy.  Sounds like something she would do.

    Anyway, what I did this time around was 1) add an extra cup or so of flour  2) wait for it to be fully refrigerated so it's easier to work with   and 3) realize the recipe says to slash the bread right before baking.  NOT right before rising.  Duh. This time I worked it like a second job with overtime.

Well the kids are awake-like now so I think we'll eat some buttery boule and call it a post.  Love you :)

Plumb guttery

It's a super sunny cold morning here in Golden!  And we caught a mouse!  And there's a mysterious skittery sounding sound coming from the ceiling above the front bathroom off the living room!




All in all the mood is set for this toasty breakfast floating around a Pinteresting website.
It's in the oven right now.






Good thing I have some pretty cute help around here! 

Today is also perfect for saying adios to the nasty galvanized pipe in the old part of the house!!  Thankful that Nick used to work with Jovan, who is doing the plumbing for us.  He left Garney and started his own business and fit us into his schedule this week.  Instead of using copper, we're using pex tube.  It's going to be easier to install and is less than half the price of copper.  The space under the kitchen is probably no more than 3 feet deepy and super creepy, so getting parts down and soldering in there would have been a challenge and time consuming.  Now he doesn't have to do that, and we get an upgrade that we can afford with not a lot of investment-- considering the back part of the house is going to have to be demolished at some point within the next five-ish years-ish, maybe-ish. 

On top of the new plumbing, we are also finally getting GUTTERS!!  Our new house has a new roof in great shape, but ZERO gutters.  It's just ridiculous.  That's a really good way to ensure that you will need a jack under the playroom to hold up the floor, yeah?

There is a gutter here actually, but rotten wood, so it's not really doing its job is it.

The paint on the fascia where the gutters will go is also almost obsolete, and part of it is rotting in some parts of the house.
We're getting the front part, which sees the most weather, wrapped in white steel to keep it protected and the worst boards replaced. 

Goodbye further damage to the foundation!!

This past weekend was completely awesome.  We ended up scoring some adorable vintage metal cabinets for our kitchen!  We weren't seriously looking, but when we found them we couldn't pass them up.  I think they kinda chose US, actually.  We got a full kitchen, counter tops, and sink and the asking price was $200.  Yeah!  AND THEN... He had some FABULOUS drapes hanging in one room, with an amazing massive-scale vintage pattern all over.  He threw those in.  And then, he said we can have the dishwasher (major upgrade to what we have, I say as I base that opinion on looks and not actual user experience!), and counter-top, and a piece of butcher block for my baking station I'm planning, AND THEN... He also had an old brass banister, which was sort of perfect for our staircase once we open it up to the living room.  He threw that in too, and I died!

Kitchen pictures that sparked my Craigslist interest:

And you know I totally dig the obnoxious vintage wallpapering going on in there.  Wait... Hmm.  I thought that... Oh!  Yes, yes here we go:

I title this image, "Mini Kitchen Makeover Inspiration Based on Things I Already Have or Practically Got for Free"
That wallpaper came from an estate sale this past summer... I thought I'd use it in my drawers!  Wait.  I thought I would use it in the drawers of the dressers I refinish.  Sheesh.   $1 for the whole roll, and there is a LOT of it!  Perfect for m'drawers and my kitchen's backsplash. 
'Hummingbird Blue', we are now best friends.
The paint can there in the picture is one I had in my stash of hand-me-down paints I use on my furniture.  Every time I come across it I smile and promise it great things in its future.  Well, I was at the Depot and picked out paint swatches the other day.  My favorite was this blue one in the pic.  It is the exact same blue as my mystery Glidden can hidden in the garage... whoa.   And soon it will be the blue on my vintage base cabinets, Boy-ee!

Can't wait to show you how we tackle our lighting issue in that dark, mouse-y kitchen, and I REALLY hope I can report back on my successful negotiations with Mr. GinnBoree regarding my flooring idea.

Were you wondering about my new coffee table?  I know, I know

This is not how I received it, but I had to do something about the splinters and nails sticking out before I had the opportunity to find festering splinters in my children's sweet innocent skin.  I'll maybe post on the process, but for now this is the lumber cart with two coats of thick, juicy, glossy epoxy. 

It doesn't stay like this for long, all shiny and fancy... I'll show you how the story ends soon, kids.








Were you also wondering what kind of nonsense Tulah was drawing today?

 

 Me:  "Cute! Love her purple outfit, it's very purply.  What are those little friends you drew there, fairies?"

Her:  "Vampires."

Me:  "... ... ... Oh. "

I realize now, those are not the smiles of fairies.  They are the out-for-blood toothy mugs of nocturnal plasmasuckers.

Tomorrow I'll show you what she finger-knitted today out of t-shirt yarn.  Much less grim.

BYE!

dining room and things of that NATURE

When you post your amazing, huge, rough, rustic, so-perfect-it-brings-me-to-tears, sturdy and Knox-proof harvest dining table on CL for only $50, be a decent human being and delete your ad once sold.  Which was apparently after 13 minutes of posting.

I need therapy now.  There will never be another.

Guys, listen.  I need a stinking farmhouse table.  I need one that is awesome and strong and I need it to be very inexpensive.  Ya hear me?

My dining room is long and able to withstand the awesomeness of an 8' table and I need to find it!  I just painted the room and am really excited to pull it all together!  I got a $5 gallon of paint from Benjamin Moore... It was a mistint and I took advantage of the price.  I had to mix in some black and red to warm it up a little, but it fit my budget and it's MUCH better than the other-worldly blue that was in there!  I was trying to stay away from gray, which Hubby wanted, but the "canvas" color I was hoping for definitely ended up being a light gray.  Or as my friend Clara says, "white clay".  Sounds much more organic and intentional.  Thanks C :)

 

I painted the wall going into the kitchen black, just for shiggles.  The color is 'black bean'... It's greenish brownish blackish and was perfect.

 Next week I have some minor big plans to brighten up the kitchen, so hopefully that view will flow a little better!

Altogether now:

I have a lot to do still, but you can see that so I don't need to point out all of the incomplete details :)





I need to hang up these new lights on one of the lighter walls, but can't decide where to put them.

They were at Ikea, in the "As-Is" section.  $5.99 each!!  Originally were $15 each.  They're very dark gray, almost the same as the black wall so they'll help tie in the blackness somewhere abroad.  They're not large, just little spotlights, but I love the industrial style and you KNOW how I love little spots of cozy light everywhere! Where to put 'em... Above the buffet?  Flanking the door into the furnace room?  Behind the table over a cool picture or shelf?  I don't quite know yet! If you're withholding my answer from me, speak up now.


We've been adjusting to the time change and just trying to enjoy the sunny hours we do have in the insanely beautiful Colorado fall weather.  Gotta make the most of these gorgeous play-outside days!

We went to the creek the other day and collected pinecones and other nature-y things.

Pinterest suggested we stuff them with cotton balls and call them owls, so we did!

 Our backyard is full of willows that aren't doing too well, so the branches are proving to be awesome for star-making: 

As for today, I am actually having a happy time cleaning and STILL organizing this little evolving house... Kiddos are being very sweet as usual and we're all accomplishing a lot!  I have three loaves of bread ready to pop in the oven, a clean kitchen, and a dada who is picking up an old factory cart for me as I type to use as our coffee table.  It's no harvest table, but that'll get sorted out in no time :)

Life is good and celebrate-able!